Erectile Dysfunction

[livingwith]

It was gradual. My sex life started out really strong. I would have sex everyday, several times a day with an ex when I was 18. then I started to “sometimes lose it” and it became a worry for me. Once that was fairly regular i started to think “Why is this happening?” I always made excuses “Maybe I masterbate to much and desensitized myself.” I would say “Oh I lost it because it was early in the morning and I just was awake enough to do it.”...Read the full article

[armywife]

Hi there. Hope you're doin' ok. I felt a need to reply as your situation is SO familiar to me. I think the first thing you should consider doing is to give yourself a break! As I'm sure you know by now, especially after coming to this forum, that your situation is not unique and you are not alone. So, slow down, take a deep breath and know that you'll be okay. Second, you must see a doctor. It took me four years to convince my husband! Please don't wait that long! It could be something physical, which doesn't necessarily spell disaster. Or it could be stress or depression. I do know that the longer you wait to deal with it, the harder it's going to be to get back to the loving relationship with your wife. And I think if a man worries about it so much for so long, he eventually loses interest in sex altogether.
Let me just share real quick, ok? When my husband developed a horrible bladder infection that developed into epididymitis, was when we learned his prostrate was slightly enlarged. This is when he finally talked to his doctor about his ED. Also, during this same time frame, he was suffering from severe depression. Big factor! And then, of course, the anti depressants have that wonderful side affect of sexual dysfunction. (that's ok, though - he NEEDS the medication). Anyway, he was given a prescription for Cialis, which worked well. However, because he was too embarressed to talk to a doctor sooner, and him not feeling like a man, and all the other things associated with ED, he just eventually lost all desire for sex. And that really made me sad. Of course, I was sad for us and for me, but mostly I was sad for him. He was always so, well, you know, wahoo! A very sexual person! And I thought how sad it was that that part of him was gone.
What I've realized is that sex is like a lot of other things we practice in life. If ya don't use it, ya lose it. Not having sex for so long caused him to just not want to anymore. And I can understand that. However, I also know that we can have it back; it just takes practice. Personally, I think starting to share just closeness and togetherness, with no expectations is the key. But, alas, my husband is not willing to try. I truly understand that ED is not uncommon, nor do I think my husband is less of a "man" because of it. What I don't understand is the unwillingness to try. He says he loves me and that he still thinks I'm beautiful and sexy. But that doesn't really fix anything.
I hope that you are being very diligent and active in finding out what will work for you and your wife. If she has educated herself about ED, then she understands. And I'm sure she'll do whatever she can to help. As long as you will. Ok? Don't be afraid, don't be ashamed, don't stress way out about it. Just DO something about it. You are not alone and there really is help out there! Best of luck!